Mission Week 18: April 3, 2017

I ABSOLUTELY LOVED CONFERENCE! IT WENT BY WAY TOO FAST! I HAVE SOOO MANY NOTES ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT WAS SAID-- I WISH I HAD TIME TO WRITE ABOUT EACH TALK WITH YOU GUYS- BUT EVERY TALK SPOKE TO ME SO LOUDLY!

I was a little sad that I wouldnt be at home for conference with all of you because of the yummy food and all the family traditions, but conference was still such an amazing experience here- the talks were just what I needed going into this new transfer and sending my best friend-- Sister Penni- off to her new area.

This week was another crazy week-- Penni and I worked a normal day in Cambé on Wednesday and it was awesome to be back out in the streets together- trying to build a teaching group for me and my new companion. We taught some awesome lessons and found a good group of people that I will start teaching with my new companion this week.

On Wednesday night- Presidente called and told us that Penni would be transferred the next day to Cascavel-- an area 7 hours away from Londrina to finish her mission! We were both devastated to not have the last full week of the transfer together and to not be able to watch conference together in our zone..... we both cried and started packing her bags. Penni was hoping to stay close to Londrina to finish her mission because she loves Londrina and the people here- she has only served in 4 zones in the mission and they are the 4 closest zones to the main city of Londrina- she was feeling discouraged already about separating with me... but she has so much faith and knows that Heavenly Father has people prepared for her in Cascavel--- it is crazy to think that she only has 5 weeks left in the mission!! Taking her to the terminal the next day was sooooo painful- I felt like i was almost leaving all of you guys again.... we had a good last day together as companions though--- we went with the office elders to get Açaí- which is a fruit here in Brazil that they make into sorbet at frozen yogurt places (Penni's favorite)- and had lots of good laughs together! I WILL MISS HER MORE THAN I CAN SAY-- BUT SHE HAS HELPED ME LEARN SO MUCH AND I KNOW THAT I CAN DO THIS (or at least I hope I can hahaha)

I will stay in Cambé with a sister named Sister Ferreira- she has almost 8 months on the mission and I haven't met her yet-- she will be arriving today and then her and I will head for Cambé. She is Brazilian and I am excited to meet her and learn from her.

I LOVED THE CONFERENCE TALKS-- ESPECIALLY THE ONE BY PRESIDENT UCHTDORF ABOUT FEAR-- AND COURAGE- I loved that he said that fear can motivate us to do the right thing but that there is a better way--- on the mission, it is easy to be obedient only because you know your comp will tell the pres or others if you are not- or it is easy to be fearful that if you are unkind to your companion that you will lose blessing and have a bad reputation in the mission--- there are lots of missionaries who are obedient out of fear of disappointing others or are afraid of how they will be perceived---- I will admit that sometimes i do worry about how I am perceived by others in the mission and that sometimes motivates me to try to be my best self, which is a good thing- but I am realizing more and more that it is important to remember that there is a BETTER WAY. It is BETTER to be motivated by the Love of Christ- we are obedient not only because we are afraid of consequences, but because WE LOVE GOD more than the things of the world- more than ourselves, more than our own desires- and WE TRUST that HE WILL MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT BECAUSE OF OUR OBEDIENCE AND DEMONSTRATION OF LOVE FOR HIM.

BEING A MISSIONARY IS THE HARDEST THING---BUT I COULD NOT BE MORE GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF THE HARD DAYS! My mission has already been absolutely not what I expected- I know that Heavenly Father knows of my potential to be more than i am now- I feel like He is humbling me so much- it is hard to be knocked down and feel every insecurity that I never knew I had, but I AM LEARNING SOOOO MUCH ABOUT HIS PLAN, HIS LOVE, AND ABOUT MYSELF! IF I MAY...hehe... I AM BLOOMING! lol